Loves A Killer
by JestersGal
Summary: After getting Voyager home, Janeways starts seeing Mark again. And its only 2 end if one of 'em dies. COMPLETE Pls rr
1. Chapter One

**Loves A Killer**

****

**Rating:** R

**Summary:** After getting Voyager home, Janeway starts seeing Mark again. After Mark leaves his wife, Janeway soon becomes the target of a hit man…

****

Kathryn Janeway walked in to her apartment. It had been three days since she had gotten _Voyager_ home, but she didn't feel 'at home.' Her small San Francisco apartment wasn't like her quarters aboard the Starship, it was to quite, and though it had a nice view of Starfleet Headquarters, she missed the stars of the Delta Quadrant, her home for the last seven years. And the other thing she didn't like was the fact that she was alone. She had gone from living on a ship with roughly 160 people to being by herself, and she was lonely. When she woke up during the night, she would read or stare out of the window, on _Voyager_ she might go to the holodeck, or see if her Commander was awake. She still hadn't gotten out of the habit of having to wake up at 5 o'clock to go to work.

Kathryn walked over to the window of the living room; it covered the entire of wall that was opposite the door. From it she could see the Headquarters standing nearly as tall as the block of apartments she was in, surrounding it was smaller buildings of offices, homes and a few shops. Boned them was more buildings that stretched to the edge of the city, but she couldn't see that far.

Kathryn sat down on a grey chair that was in the corner next to the window, she looked out to watch the sunset. The sky turning to an orange yellow colour, small shuttle crafts flying pass the buildings.

She looked over to her laptop that was on her glass coffee table which was between her two peach coloured sofas in the middle of the room. Three days since she had been back and she was surprised not to hear anything from Mark Johnson. Mark was her ex-fiancé, they were engaged when she left, for what was meant to be a '3 week mission,' but when they made contact with Earth four years in to their journey she had gotten a letter from him saying he had moved on and married a co-worker. She missed him, since she got back to Earth that feeling had grown.

She looked back to the window and closed her eyes, she was exhausted. She had been on her feet since getting back: going to briefings, seeing family and friends, having to write reports on their mission – that alone kept her up to the late hours of the night.

****

There was a knock at the door, Kathryn opened her eyes and realized that she had fallen asleep. She looked out of the window, it was dark, the only light was coming from the buildings. She stood and stretched her legs, when there was another knock; she sighed to herself and walked over to the door. She glanced at the clock on the computer panel next to the door; it was 2335, _who the hell would visit at this time of night?_ She thought as she took hold of the handle to open the door, to find Mark standing opposite her.

"Mark." She gasped in shock.

He smiled at her. "Hi, Kath."

Kathryn stood still before saying, "Please come in." she motioned with her hand for him to enter her living area, when he did walk in, she shut the door. Mark turned to face her then opened his arms out for a hug; Kathryn didn't hesitate to go to him. When her arms were around his waist, Mark put his tightly around her shoulders. Kathryn didn't want the hug to end, she missed him terribly, and now she was back in his arms were it was warm and safe, but now he didn't belong to her anymore.

Mark slowly pulled out of her embrace and put his arms by his side, Kathryn did the same. When he looked at her he could see she was sadden by the end of their hug, it wasn't in her expression, it was in her eyes.

"Can I get you anything?" she asked as she walked over to her repacator so Mark couldn't see the tears that were now beginning to run down her cheeks.

"No thanks." He replied as he sat on a sofa.

"Coffee. Black." As the cup of warm coffee martealized in front of her, Kathryn quickly wiped her eyes and then picked up the cup to sit next to Mark.

"Kathryn, I'm sorry for ending our engagement, you most probably want an expiation so here it is, I… well, you know–" he stammered.

"– Mark, I don't need an expiation, I understand." Kathryn interrupted.

Mark looked her in the eyes. "You do?"

_I do_, Kathryn forced a smile as a memory floated back to her. When Mark had proposed to her and she had said 'yes' he had replied 'you do' for her to say 'I do.' "Of course."

Mark sighed, it sounded like he was relieved he didn't have to explain himself for why he left her. He wrapped his arms around her again, pulling her close to his chest, something she had wanted to happen since her first night in the Delta Quadrant – her first night away from him.

She sighed as her arms wrapped around him, she closed her eyes and listened to his heart beat as his head rested on top of hers. This is what she wanted, just him and her forever, no one else – she didn't need anyone else.

He pulled away from her and stared at her face.

After a moment Kathryn said, "Mark?"

"Your hair, you've cut your hair." He commented as he ran a hand through her short auburn hair. The last time he had seen her, before she left for the Badlands, it came down to her waist and she mostly wore it up in a bun, now it was cut in to a bob.

"Yes, I thought it would be better – more manageable – if it was cut short." She flashed her lop-sided grin at him, "You do like it, don't you?"

"It's beautiful."

Kathryn continued to grin at him, but stopped when he looked back in to her eyes. Old feelings started burning again. Desire. Passion. Love. Everything she had once felt for him, when he was hers. _No, Kathryn, he's married, you cant do this, you cant have him_, but Kathryn Janeway was a woman who always got what she wanted, no matter what.

Mark's hand, which was still in her hair, ran down to cup her cheek; the he bent forward to kiss her, Kathryn kissed him back. Mark slipped her blue dress straps down her arms to reveal her bare shoulders, and then started to kiss the base of her neck, something she like and couldn't resist. Kathryn wrapped her arms around his neck, her hands running through his short grey hair. Her head was screaming at her to stop, her heart – and everything else – was telling her to carry on.

He pushed her gently back on to the sofa, cupping one of her breasts in his hand, as he looked at her face, the desire in her eyes. "Oh, Kath." He whispered before reclaiming her lips again, and they spent the night making up for seven years apart…

****

It was early morning, Kathryn stood at the window reading a padd, on it was written.

'**To:** Captain Kathryn Janeway

**From:** Admiral Owen Paris

**Subject:** New Ship Designs Meeting

Captain, could you please report to Starfleet Head Quarters at 1300 today for a meeting on new ship design, I've decided we could use some more input on this

Thank you

Admiral Paris'

Kathryn switched off the padd and put it on the table in the corner the stared back out of the window. It was 0750, the sun was just rising, she was hoping to meet up with a few friends today, but that would have to wait for another day. She rubbed her hands over her tired eyes and sighed as a pair of arms wrapped round her waist and Marks head rested on her shoulder.

He kissed her cheek, then spun her around to face him and planted a kiss on her lips. Kathryn drew back and placed her hands on his shoulders. "Mark, we cant, you're married. What happened last night shouldn't of." She said softly.

Mark stared at her like she was joking, "You're kidding right?"

Kathryn stood still not saying anything.

"You're not. Kath, you're the one I've always wanted, no one else." He told her.

Kathryn tried hard not to feel flattered and to maintain her seriousness, but her 'serious mask' cracked and she smiled at him.

"That's better." Mark kissed her again the asked, "What do you have planned got today?"

"I've got a meeting at 1300 at Head Quarters, with Owen." She answered.

"Well, that's ages yet." Mark started kissing the base of her neck, slowly working his way up to her mouth. Once he had captured her lips again, Kathryn wrapped her arms around his neck, running her hands back through his hair, as she kissed him harder. Mark's hands slided down her back, sending a tingly sensation through her, until they reached her butt, he cupped it in both hands, then pushed her hips against his, giving her rear a squeeze as he did.

Kathryn was glad they weren't dressed in much, Mark was only in a pair of trousers and she was in a white knee length dress. She felt his aching bulge prod in to thigh making her thrust herself even harder against him.

Mark drew back from their passionate kisses, both of their breathing had quickened; Kathryn stopped moving and stared at him, with a wondrous look in her eyes. Then she took hold of his hand and pulled him down to the floor – and on top of her to begin their kissing again.

Kathryn had forgotten that they were in front of the living area window, there wasn't many shuttles out though – but right now she couldn't care less if they were being broadcasted on every single laptop on Earth, she wanted him and she wanted him now.

She ran her hands down his muscular chest and down to his trousers. She found the button that did them up and started to undo it, trying to free him from the confides of the clothing. The button came undone after a moment, she undid the zip without any problems then pushed the trousers off his hips and down his legs, then she hooked her left around his.

Mark pulled her right leg up, pushed her dress up to her stomach then rested both of his hands on her hips; Kathryn's hands were on his butt, her nails beginning to dig in to skin.

He started thrusting hard in to her, as he kissed her neck, then her throat, before he reclaimed her mouth, his tongue sliding between her lips to dance with hers.

Mark then thrusted in to her, Kathryn cried out as she arched against him, then they were still both of them sweating slightly and breathing heavily. Mark gave her a little kiss, and then rested his head on her chest.

 After a moment of silence Kathryn asked, "Wont Carla be wondering were you are?"

Mark's head snapped up to her, Kathryn got a feeling that she had said something wrong. He then got off her and stood, pulling his trousers up as he did, Kathryn watched him do them up then pick up his shirt from the back of the sofa, he put it on and started doing up the buttons.

Kathryn stood up and straightened out her dress then turned to Mark, "Mark, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." He answered coldly.

"Yes there is." She snapped then took a deep breath to calm herself. "I'm sorry to snap, but did I say something wrong?"

"You mentioned her," Mark started towards the door, "this has nothing to do with her!"

Kathryn followed him as she shouted, "This has everything to do with her, she's your wife!"

Mark grabbed the door handle and looked back at Kathryn, then without another word, he walked out of her apartment, slamming the door behind him.

Kathryn stared at the closed door, her mouth slightly parted, then she sighed as she placed her hands on her hips, she could tell this was going to be a long day…


	2. Chapter Two

Kathryn rushed through the grounds of Starfleet Head Quarters, she only had five minutes to get to her meeting with Admiral Paris, but since her fight with Mark this morning nothing had gone right: first her repacator malfunctioned so she hadn't had anything to eat, and was only drinking tap water, then when she was having a shower the hot water supply had stopped for some reason which she didn't know, then she couldn't find her Captains uniform and ended up leaving the house late.

She walked past Paris' sectary and in to his office saying, "Sorry, I'm late Owen," she closed the door. When she turned towards his desk she was surprised to find Seven of Nine and Tom Paris sitting in front of it. She was slightly embarrassed by turning up late in front of her former crew members; she walked over to the only chair free next to Tom and sat down, placing her data padd on her lap.

"That's alright, Captain." Paris said then begun to inform them why they were there. "I've decided that the ships design team could use a few extra ideas for the new ship their working on. I've chosen you three to generate those extra ideas." He handed them each a data padd, and explained. "This contain the semantics for the new ship, I want to improve on them."

Kathryn stared down at the new padd in her hands, not reading it – she was playing what happened this morning over in her mind.

Time soon passed and Paris dismissed them, Kathryn, who had given her padd to the Admiral, stood and turned for the door, but Paris called her back, "Kathryn."

Kathryn stopped and turned back to face the grey haired man. His expression didn't give away what was wrong with him, but his grey blue eyes did, he was concerned about her. This man had known her since her Academy days, she had served aboard two vessels with him, it was him who told her to switch from a science career to the Command track – he know when something was wrong with her and since she was mostly quite during the meeting, he guessed something was wrong.

"Yes sir?"

"Is everything alright, you were awfully quite during the entire meeting."

Kathryn smiled, "Yes sir, I'm fine."

Paris smiled at her, Starfleet Captains were all the same saying they were fine when it was clear they weren't, but Paris was going to question her anymore about it – if she was fine, then she was fine. "Okay, dismissed."

Kathryn continued to smile as she left his office and headed back to the busy streets.

****

It was 1500, half an hour since Kathryn had left her meeting, she was now sat outside her favorite café, the _Coffee Corner_, drinking some black coffee.

"Kath."

She looked up to see Mark standing in front of her, she didn't answer, she was still angry at him about what happened.

"I'm sorry for how I acted this morning, I shouldn't have gotten angry and shouted at you."

Kathryn continued to stare at him before saying, "I'm sorry to, I also shouldn't have shouted."

"Do you want to go somewhere, to talk?" He asked.

Kathryn stood up Mark extended his hand and she took hold it then he lead her away from the café and down the street.

"Where are we going?" She asked as they turned the corner to the area that had traditional houses on either side of the street, then she realized where they were going – "Your house?"

"You haven't seen it." He replied.

Unlike Kathryn, Mark lived in a traditional house, one that was not as technologic as her apartment. He lead her up the front steps and unlocked the door and showed her in. the house wasn't that big, in the hall was the stairs to the first floor, and two doors, one to the kitchen the other to the living area.

Mark walked in to the living area, Kathryn followed, then, taken her by surprise, he spun round and kissed her, Kathryn found herself responding.

After a moment he drew back, Kathryn pushed herself against him as she trailed kisses down his neck. Mark moved her away then said. "Beg."

Kathryn looked at him in disbelief, was she hearing right, did he just order her to beg. "What?"

"Beg." He repeated.

"Mark, don't do this." She said.

Mark kissed her neck, she went to kiss his lips but he moved his head away and went back to her neck. His hands ran down to her butt and he pushed her harder against him, again she went for his lips but he moved his head away. "Don't do what, Kath?" He moved his face in front of hers, their lips just a centimeter apart. "Don't do this?" He brushed his lips over hers, but took it no farther.

"Mark," Kathryn whispered, she didn't want to have to beg, but he wasn't leaving her any choice, she put her arms around his neck, Mark took hold of them and placed them at her sides.

Then he undid her black and red jacket, took it off and dropped it to the floor. Then he slipped off her grey turtleneck jacket, which also went on the floor, followed by her tank-top, to expose her bare chest. Mark then pulled her close to his again; one arm rested around her waist to keep her close to him, the other hand cupped her breast squeezing it, massaging it. He brushed his lips back over hers, slightly kissing her, Kathryn went to deepen to kiss but Mark moved his head back and looked in to her blue eyes, still fondling with her breast. Then his hands went to her butt, and he started kissing her neck, working his way down to her breast were his hand was once. He started licking it, sucking it, capturing her nipple between his lips.

 "Oh, God." Kathryn moaned as she rested her hands on the back of Marks neck, pushing his head against her. She couldn't take this any more. "Please, Mark, please."

"Please what?" Mark asked as his hands started tugging at her trousers.

"Please give it to me." She begged as her trousers fell down to her ankles and Mark replaced his hands back on to her now naked butt.

"Give what to you, Kath?" He whispered in her ear as he started to nibble on it.

"Sex." She said in a short gasp as she started to undo his shirt.

Mark looked at her, "Your ex?" He smiled teasingly.

Kathryn threw his shirt to the floor as she shook her head. "No. Sex, Mark, please." She begged as her hands roamed down his chest to his trousers, Mark grabbed her hands before she could do anything.

"What do you want me to do, Kath?" Mark asked as he pushed her up to the closed door and pressed himself hard in to her.

Kathryn looked at him, her cheeks were slightly flushed, her breathing had quickened and she wanted him. "Fuck me, Mark. Now. Hard. Please."

Mark smiled before kissing her with a hungry urgency that was fierce and hard…

****

Kathryn laid down on her bed, it was now late evening. She had just got out of her bath and was still in her dressing gown. She sighed and closed her eyes, thoughts of Mark running through her head that they felt real. His hands roaming over her body, slowly untying her robe to reveal her naked body, cupping her breasts, gently squeezing them, stroking them. Then one hand ran down her stomach and between her creamy thighs, his fingers slowly prodding her.

Beep. Beep.

Kathryn's eyes flew open – Mark gone – to find it was her hands roaming her body, not his. She moved her hands away from her breast and from her thighs.

Beep. Beep. 

She sat up on her elbows to look at her laptop on the desk. Whoever they were had better have a very important reason for interrupting an intimate moment,_ or there's going to be a hanging at dawn_, she thought as she did up her robe.

Beep. Beep.

She was thinking about not answering it, pretend that she was asleep, but the beeping would distract her.

She sat in front of her laptop and pressed the button to answer whoever was calling her.

Chakotay's face appeared on the screen.

"Chakotay," Kathryn sounded shock, she wasn't expecting it to be him, she was half hoping it was Mark.

Chakotay smiled as her. "I didn't wake you, did I?" 

"No." _You just interrupted other things_, but she wasn't about to tell her former Commander that.

"I was wondering if you wanted to take the Delta Flyer for a spin."

Kathryn stared at him, _hanging at dawn_, "Where to?"

"There's a place I want to show you, but I'm not going to tell you where." He answered.

"Okay, are you going to pick me up?" She asked, maybe getting out would help clear her head of Mark.

Chakotay nodded, "See you in 15 minutes." Then the screen went black.

Kathryn sighed and looked over to her bed, she wanted to go back there – back to Mark – but it was to late now, she stood and walked over to her wardrobe to find something to wear.


	3. Chapter Three

Chakotay had picked her 15 minutes later, in the Delta Flyer; still he did not reveal their destination. They had spent the first half an hour talking about what they've been up to since getting home, but Kathryn didn't tell him about her affair with Mark, now didn't seem like the right time – _if there is a right time to tell someone that you're sleeping with a married man_. They were now sat in silence, both lost in private thoughts. Wondering where they were going, Kathryn looked at the coordinates, it seemed familiar. Then she realized where they were heading – Chakotay was taking her with him to face some demons from his past.

Finally they came in orbit around a small moon; Chakotay brought the shuttle down in to a gentle landing in a small clearing. They got out and walked towards a tall standing stone on it was a bronze plaque. This was the moon of Tevlik; the Maquis base during the Dominion War, the plaque was to commemorate the dead.

Kathryn read the list of names, some she recognized, then something hit her, if Chakotay hadn't been in the Badlands his name would be…she shook her head slightly to rid of the thought. "I didn't know Starfleet did this already."

Chakotay replied softly, "They didn't. Sveta and some of the other Maquis did this all on their own."

Kathryn nodded, and then slipped a comforting arm around his waist, his arm came up and draped across her shoulder, they stood like that, wordlessly thinking. Slowly they turned and walked back to the shuttle. As they lifted off, Kathryn turned to Chakotay. "I'm glad out destinies coincided. It was a privilege to have you at my side these past seven years."

He smiled, "And it was a privilege to serve with you Captain."

Kathryn laughed and held up a hand in protest. "Kathryn. I'm not your captain anymore." 

"You'll always be captain to me." He joked.

Suddenly serious she looked in to his dark eyes. "I hope not."

****

It was the next morning, Kathryn sat on her sofa in the living area, eating a slice of toast and drinking some coffee when her laptop beeped.

She hit the button to answer it to find Mark staring back at her. "Mark." She smiled.

"Hey, Kath." He smiled back. "I can't talk for long, but I was wondering if you wanted to come round tonight for dinner."

Kathryn smiled again, almost looking twisted and evil. "Will the dog be out?"

"Kath!" Mark raised his voice.

"I was talking about Molly, dear." She continued to smile at him.

"I know exactly _who_ you were talking about. And Carla will be in; I want you to meet her."

Kathryn's mouth dropped opened, before she gave him her twisted smile. "So I can tell her that I'm shagging her husband."

"1900 hours." Mark said before ending the transmission.

Kathryn laughed to herself, maybe she would go and met Carla, see what she was like, get to know her – see why Mark loved her…

****

Half an hour later, Kathryn left the house, she was planning to meet Samantha Wildman and Naomi, Sam's daughter, and spend the day shopping. _Who knows maybe I'll find a nice dress for tonight_.

****

"This is the shop!" Naomi shouted as she ran in to the clothes shop. Kathryn looked at the name, _Chic_, Naomi had been going on about this shop all day, saying how 'nice' the clothes were, Sam followed Naomi in, Kathryn close behind.

"I'll be over there." Naomi then ran off to the Teenager section, even though she was only five, she did look more like a teenager thanks to her being half Ktarian, which also made her quick leaner and smarter than a Human five year old.

Sam and Kathryn smiled as they walked over to the Adult Female section, Kathryn instantly went to the dresses and started looking through them as Sam browsed through them.

"So what are you looking for?" Sam asked pulling out a red dress then putting it back.

"Something…nice." _Something lovely that shows off everything so Mark won't be able to keep his eyes off me_. "Like I said he invited me around for dinner at his place and I want something nice." _Something sexy so when we're alone his hands wont stop touching me_. Kathryn pulled out a black mini dress with a very low cut front, _like this_.

Sam saw it, grabbed it off her and hanged it back up, then looked at Kathryn's shocked face. "Sorry, but that had slut written all over it."

Kathryn continued at stare at Sam, _maybe that's what I wanted_, then Sam handed her a dress, it was like the one she had just put back expect it came to the knees and the front wasn't as low.

"This is nice." Sam said holding it up to Kathryn to see if it looked right.

Kathryn took it of her and stood in front of the mirror, it did look nice. _This will do_, she smiled to herself. "Now, I need some shoes."

****

Kathryn glanced at the clock; she had just over half an hour to get ready. She had just come out of the shower and was walking in to her bedroom. She went over to the wardrobe and pulled out her new black dress, laid it on the bed then unwrapped the towel from her hair and dropped it on the floor, followed by her dressing robe. She picked up the dress and slipped in to it, then looked in the full length mirror, Sam was right the dress was lovely. She then went to her dressing table, picked up a brush and ran it through her hair, when the knots were out she tied it up in a clip, leaving a few strains hanging out at the front. Then she picked up some pink eye shadow and brushed it over her eyelids, when that was done she put the small pot and brush down then picked up some lipstick, it was a natural colour which she wanted. After that she picked up a pair of earrings, a pair of blue studs, and put them on. She looked in to her mirror, _something's missing_, she looked through her jewellery box to pull out a necklace, it was a thin gold chin with a heart at the end, Mark had given it to her as a birthday present when they fist started going out. She put it on then picked up her shoes by the bedroom door and went to the sofa to put them on. She had chosen black high heel slip on that went with her dress. Kathryn stood, feeling funny in high heels, and went to the front door, took her coat of the hook on the wall, put it on the walked out, sealing the door behind her.

****

Kathryn knocked at the door and was surprised at how quickly it opened. She looked up to find a woman standing in the doorway. She looked younger than Kathryn and Mark, with straight brown shoulder length hair and brown eyes; she was in a long red dress.

"Kathryn Janeway?" she asked.

Kathryn smiled, "The one and only."

"Come in."

Kathryn walked in to the house and in to the living room, when she turned around the woman was standing in front of her, Kathryn jumped back. 

"I'm Carla, Mark's in the kitchen, dinners almost ready." She told her, and then asked, "Can I hang your coat up?"

Kathryn took her coat off and handed it to Carla who went in the hall to hang it up, already Kathryn didn't like her…

****

20 minutes later, they were sat at the dinning table eating desert: ice cream cake with cream. Mark put the three bowls on the table, one in front of Carla, one for Kathryn and one for him.

"So, Kathryn what's it like being back on Earth?" Carla asked.

Kathryn shrugged, "It's hard getting use to the changes around here," She looked at Mark who stared back at her she smiled as she ate some of her desert. "Mark you'll have to tell me what cream this is, I've never tasted it before, and I might need some that tastes nice." She gave him a wicked grin, Mark looked away from her.

"You make deserts?" Carla looked at Kathryn.

_No you stupid cow, its to go all over me so your husband can lick it off_, Kathryn smiled, "Sometimes, but I mainly strawberries and cream, just never tasted this cream before." She looked at Mark again and gave him a saucy smile before eating again.

"Mark likes strawberries and cream." Carla informed her, "I don't like strawberries."

"I know Mark does." _You bitch I went out with him remember, you stole him from me; he used to eat them off me!_ She screamed at Carla in her head.

Carla smiled, uncomfortably and said nothing.

Kathryn eyes at Mark, then a wicked idea flashed at her. She slipped her foot out of her shoe; glad they slipped on, and then ran it up Mark's leg.

Mark's head snapped to her, Kathryn just smiled as Mark continued to stare at her, almost looking like he was going to tell her to stop. Carla watched them; not knowing what was going on.

Mark looked away from Kathryn who looked down at her bowl to eat, her foot rested on his knee, and then she slid it down to his thigh then to her target.

Mark coughed, half choking on his food, at her touch.

Carla looked up at him, "Are you alright?"

Mark nodded. "Wrong hole." He said then coughed a bit more. He looked at Kathryn, she smiled at him, and then looked away, Mark continued to stare at her before looking at Carla. "I'm fine." He reassured her before eating again.

Carla stared at Kathryn, who smiled at her, but Carla could tell it was fake, she could see Kathryn's hatred towards her in her eyes. Carla didn't trust her; she would have to sort her out, sooner than later…

****

Kathryn walked in to her apartment, pushing the door shut, leaned against it and sighed. The evening went well, she saw that Carla was a bitch, didn't know anything about – and didn't want to – and had no idea why Mark loved her, and the only time she got to kiss Mark was when the dog put their son, Kevin, to bed.

Kathryn took her coat off and hanged it up then walked in to her bedroom, kicking off her shoes on the way. She took the clip out of her hair and slung it on the dressing table, she felt angry, angry that she didn't have Mark and now he was sleeping with that dog. She could feel the tears stinging her eyes, as she went to the bed and pulled off her dress. Then in a surge of anger, she tore the back of the dress, the fabric ripped easily, then she threw it across the room, the tears now streaming down her cheeks.

Kathryn climbed in to bed, pulled the covers up to her chin and buried her head in to the pillow, trying to calm herself with no success. Seven years of not crying were now coming out, seven years of pain, loss, and she had kept it all in. she was now crying so hard that she felt sick, she rolled on to her side and tucked her legs up, aware that she was in nothing, she didn't care, she didn't want to get dress.

After a few minutes Kathryn had stopped crying, she was now sat in the living area dress in an ankle length pink satin nightie. She picked up a bottle of vodka from the glass coffee table and took a long sip from it, before returning it back to the table. She wasn't normally a drinker, only a few glasses of wine on special occasions or if she was having dinner with someone, but never like this. _You're feeling sorry for yourself, that's why_, she picked up the bottle again, but it was empty, so she put it down and said. "Another bottle of vodka." She went over to the repacator and picked up the new bottle then sat down. She picked up the bottle opener off the table and took off the cap and slung the opener back down. Then she drank, and carried on drinking for the next two hours before going to bed.


	4. Chapter Four

"Kathryn, wake up!"

Kathryn groaned as someone shock her to wake her up, "I am awake." She replied tiredly. Then she opened her eyes to find Tom Paris looking at her, she sat up and stared at him, she stared her then looked away, slightly blushing. Kathryn looked down at her chest, where he had been looking to find her nightie strap had fallen down her arm and her breast was half exposed, she quickly repositioned the strap back on her shoulder, "How did you get in here?"

"You never sealed the front door, and when you didn't answer I got worried and came in." He replied. "So how's the hangover?" 

"I don't have a hangover, how could I if I never got drunk?" she put a hand on her forehead, feeling a headache about to come on.

"You left the evidence at the scene of the crime." He smiled.

Kathryn was about to ask what he meant then realized that she had left all the empty vodka bottles on the table. "Could you get me a coffee please while I get changed?"

"Black?" He asked as he went to stand by the door.

"Black." Kathryn confirmed, and then Tom walked out to the living area.

Kathryn pushed the covers back and got out of bed. Out of all the people who could visit her it had to be Tom Paris, the former helmsman on _Voyager_, if they were still on _Voyager_ she swore that everyone would know that she had a hangover quicker than she could say 'Coffee. Black.' She walked over to her wardrobe and pulled out a shirt, then got a pair of jeans from her chest of drawers. She quickly got changed in to them, brushed her hair then walked in to the living area, Tom was sat on a sofa drinking and there was a cup of hot black coffee on the table, the bottles were no longer occupying it.

She slumped down opposite Tom, picked up the cup and took a long sip, slightly cursing herself about her late night drinking, she felt awful. She put the cup back on the table, folded her arms loosely across her waist and sighed. "So, why did you come here, expect to make me coffee?"

"Sam's worried about you." He said bluntly.

Kathryn stared at him. "If she's worried about me, then why are you here?"

"Because she asked me to talk to you. She would have asked Chakotay but she doesn't know where he is." He replied, putting his own cup of coffee on the table.

"Oh," Was all he got.

"So is there something you want to talk about?" He asked.

Kathryn sighed again and looked down at her lap, maybe if she told him he would be able to help,_ maybe he could kill that bitch_, "I'm seeing someone, but there's a problem." She said quietly.

Tome stared at her, confused. "Well, it's great you're seeing someone. Who is it? Why's there a problem?"

Kathryn sat in silence before saying. "It's Mark."

Tom thought for a moment. "You mean your ex-fiancé Mark. Isn't he married now?"

"That's the problem." When Tom didn't answer, Kathryn looked up at him; he was staring at her with a mixture of shock and disbelief on his face.

"Wait, let me get this straight, you're seeing your ex-fiancé who is now married, does his wife know?" He said, coming out of his shock.

Kathryn shook her head. "No, but I wouldn't be surprise if she suspected something was going on."

"How long have you been seeing him?"

"Today will be our fourth day." She answered, and then quickly added, "I don't need help or advice, Tom, I just needed to tell someone, just in case I need to talk in the future."

Tom nodded, "Okay, we'll if you need to talk, just call and I'll be straight over." He stood up. "I've got to go, I'll see myself out. Bye."

"See ya." She said as Tom left the apartment. She didn't have anything planned today, _maybe I'll go and see Mark_, she thought as she drank the rest of her coffee.

****

"Oh God!" Kathryn gasped. She was sat on top of Mark, her legs stranded across him, one hand clutching the pillow near his head, the other lying on his chest, her nails slowly beginning to dig in to him.

She had left her apartment not long after Tom went, she came here, her and Mark had an argument about what happened the other night when she came round for dinner, then they ended up in his bed – no, in his _and_ Carla's bed.

Mark's hands rested on her hips, moving with her as she thrusted in to him, then with one final hard thrust, they climaxed together, Kathryn crying out his name as she did.

Kathryn laid down on her lover, lying on her left arm that rested on Mark's chest, not moving.

"Kath, are you alright?" Mark asked looking at her.

She slowly turned to face him; sweat forming at her hairline, her cheeks flushed red, her quickened breath on his neck. She answered, "Fine, my love. I'm fine." She rested her hand that was on the pillow on to his cheek, she couldn't tell if it was her hand or Mark's cheek, but her hand felt hot at the touch of his skin. 

Then she moved her face in front of his and kissed him passionately. Then she slowly trailed kisses down his neck, working down to his chest, circling her tongue around of his nipples, before continuing down to his navel then – 

"Mark!"

 Kathryn and Mark both shot up in to a sitting position, and looked at each other.

"Mark, are you home?!" Came Carla's voice from downstairs.

"Oh shit." Kathryn leapt off Mark and begun to collect her clothes off the floor, Mark also finding his clothes and getting changed. Kathryn dumped her clothes on the ruffled covers of the bed, quickly getting changed in to them. "I thought you said she would be out all day."

"That's what she told me." Mark replied as he pulled on his trousers and did them up, then he put on his socks before walking over to Kathryn, who was just finishing doing up her shirt and was putting on her jeans, he kissed her forehead. Kathryn pulled on her socks, put on her shoes then quickly ran her hands through her hair, trying to neating it out, with no success, if anything, it looked worse.

Then she followed Mark downstairs and in to the kitchen where Carla was. Carla turned around and was about to walk over to Mark, but stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Kathryn standing beside him. "What's she doing here?"

Mark answered before Kathryn could, "Kathryn came round to talk, I was just showing her what I was planning to do with Kevin's room."

_That's a lie_, Carla thought, he stank of sex – he stank of that whore beside him. Trying to catch Kathryn out, Carla asked. "What do you like about it most?"

Kathryn stared at her, thinking about her answer, and then replied. "Mark's creative use. It's nice to know he can use it in the bedroom and not just the kitchen." She smiled.

 Did she mean that as a harmless remark, _no she didn't_, Carla thought when she saw Kathryn had a smug smile on her face, and Carla wanted to slap it off her. Then in a burst of anger she screamed, "Get out of my house, you whore!!" then launched herself towards Kathryn, only to fall in to Mark who sat her down on one of the stools.

He turned to Kathryn, "Kath, I think you'd better go."

"Okay," She to leave, but stopped and turned back to face Carla. "Carla, thanks for helping Mark look after Molly, it's nice to know she has another bitch to play with." With that she turned on her heel and walked through the hall, hearing Carla shout all sorts of abuse at her. She smiled to her self as she left the house, and carried on smiling back to her apartment.

****

Kathryn sat heavily on her sofa and sighed, she had stopped smiling when she entered her apartment, and she had Carla's words to thank for that. _'You whore'_ was she, did sleeping with a married man make her a whore, _no it doesn't_, she thought.

She turned her laptop towards her, maybe Tom could give her some advice, it didn't take long for him to answer, _is he waiting by his computer for me to call and say I need help_, she wondered.

"Kathryn, trouble already?" He smiled.

Kathryn glared at him. "No. I was wondering if you thought I was a whore."

Tom stared at her, gob smacked. "Why would I think that?"

"I'm sleeping with a married man, Tom." She reminded him.

"Doesn't mean I think you're a whore. Who said you were?"

Kathryn sighed at having to say _her_ name. "Carla." It was like drinking poison. She eyed at Tom who stared at her. "Mark's wife." She told him.

"Yeah. But that's because she hates you, right?"

Kathryn nodded, "Yes, so I'm not a whore." She smiled. "Thanks Tom."

"Ah…yeah, sure." He answered not really knowing what he said to cheer her up. He her face expression, it changed from smiling to looking like an idea had just slapped her. "Kathryn, are you alright?"

"Yes, I have to go." She ended the transmission then rested against the sofa to think.

****

Carla waited at the bottom of the stairs until she heard Mark switch the shower on, then she walked over to the phone and picked it up to dial his number in.

It rang a few breath times before he answered. "Hello, is this Neil…oh hi, I'm Carla, a friend of Sandra…I was wondering if you could do me a favour…well I was wondering if you could help me, I have a problem." Carla paused, and then said, "and I need her sorted out…"

****

Kathryn walked up the steps to the Johnson's house; it had been an hour since she had spoken to Tom, now she had to speak to Mark. She knocked on the door, Mark answered it, dressed only in his trousers, she pushed passed him and in to the living area. She spun round to find him just walking in to the room. "Leave her."

Mark stared at her, shocked by how blunt she was. "What did you just say? Did you just tell me to leave my wife?"

"Leave her Mark. If you love me – wanted me – as much as you tell me – show me – you do, then you would, right away. For me." For some reason Kathryn felt tense, she hadn't thought that she would be explaining herself, she pictured she come in here tell him to leave Carla and he would, no questions, no hesitating, no nothing. But then nothing in her life went according to plan.

Mark started pacing back and forth, "Kath, I can't believe you're telling me to do this."  He ran a hand through his hair, then stopped pacing and looked at Kathryn; she stood in silence looking serious.

She walked up to him and softy said. "I love you, I want you and I know you feel the same, but I don't want to share you." Mark looked in to her eyes, then bent down to kiss her, to his surprise, Kathryn stepped back from him. "No, Mark. I can't – we can't – not until you decide. Her or me."

"What about Kevin?"

Kathryn had forgotten about him, she couldn't bring up a three year old, especially one that wasn't hers. "The bitch can look after him."

"Stop calling her that." Mark said, slightly angry.

Kathryn laughed. "Well, if she put her collar back on I would what to call her."

Mark backhanded her around her face; Kathryn's head flew to the side, almost knocking her to the floor. She put her hand up to her stinging cheek, and looked at Mark through watering eyes; she had never seen him look so angry.

"Carla is still my wife and you will show her some respect."

Kathryn walked up to him, staring in to his brown eyes she spat. "In Hell I will." Then walked out of the house, slamming the door closed, regretting going there.


	5. Chapter Five

Kathryn climbed in to bed, tears were streaming down her cheeks even before her head landed on the pillow, tears of being alone again, tears of the pain knowing that Mark had hit her. She pulled the cover of her head, hoping to shut out the world around her, shutting out any one who might try to contact her, she wanted to be left alone in her own misery. _If you never went there in the first place you wouldn't be like this_, Kathryn felt like there were two people arguing inside her head, one telling her off for going to see Mark, the other telling her not to worry and that he didn't mean it.

She heard some movement from the foot of her bed and sat up to find Mark standing there, she was glad she had decided to get changed in to her nightie and not sleep naked. She jumped out of bed, grabbed his arm and started pulling him towards the door. "How dare you come in here!"

Mark grabbed her arms and pushed her down on to the bed to kiss her, Kathryn found herself responding when she didn't want to. His hand ran down her chest, her hip, her thigh then slid up her nightie to rest on her thigh.

_No, no!_ "No!" She pushed his head back, "No Mark, I said before we can't."

"I've left her_._ I want you Kath, not her." He told her.

Kathryn felt a surge of feelings rush through her. Joy. Love. Shock. Fear. Fear, where did that come from, what was she afraid of, that he might go back to Carla, that he might fall out of love with her. _What does it matter, he's mine now_, she thought as she pulled him back for a kiss.

****

"Oh, Mark…oh." Kathryn moaned in Mark's ear. They were sat on her bed, well Mark was, Kathryn was sat on his lap her legs wrapped round his waist, and it hadn't taken her long to strip them both.

Mark rested his hands on her butt, letting her do all the moving, he knew how much she enjoyed being in charged and having all the power. Kathryn moved her face in front of his, Mark's eyes widened at the sight before him. She looked lovely, her hair was messed up, something people rarely saw, her lips were parted slightly as her breathing became panting, her eyes filled with pleasure and desire. She looked like a Goddess. A sex Goddess, and her every wish was his command, he would do anything for her.

Kathryn pushed her lips hard against Mark's, waking him from his thought, then she pulled back and rested her forehead against his, "I love you."

"God, I love you too, Kath." He gasped, then in one swift movement, she was lying on the bed and he was lying on top of her, trusting hard in to her.

Kathryn was enjoying it, until he started getting more harder and more voracious. Mark felt her hands move to his chest, he grabbed them and held them tightly above her head. Then her hips started to wriggle, trying to move away from him, holding her hands in one of his, the other went to her left hip, trying to keep her still. He took his kissing from her breasts to her neck, Kathryn tried to move away from him as he fiercely kissed her, she could feel him slightly biting her.

"Mark –" Whatever else she was going to say got caught in her throat as Mark thrusted hard against her…once more…then again…then one last time before he went limp on her.

After a moment he got off her, picked up his clothes and went in to the living area. As soon as he shut the bedroom door, Kathryn burst in to tears, she would rather have slept alone instead of have him do that to her. She got under the covers and hugged her legs, they were throbbing with pain, her neck was hurting her were he had been biting it and her wrists ache where he had been holding them tightly. He had used her, and now she felt like the cheap, worthless whore that Carla saw her as, how did this happen, how _could_ she let this happen? Soon, she cried herself to sleep.

Kathryn stared at her naked body in her full length mirror, it was the next morning, she was feeling terrible. Her inner thighs were covered in bruises, as were her wrists and neck. She picked up her nightie from the floor and put it on then turned to the door to find Mark standing there.

He headed towards her, Kathryn took a few steps back, "Don't touch me you bastard." She spat at him through gritted teeth.

"Kath, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…" His voice trailed off, like he was ashamed to say what he did.

"Didn't mean to!" Kathryn exploded in to a rage of anger. "Fuck it Mark, you rapped me! You knew I wanted you to get off me, but you ignored it and held me down, and carried on!"

Mark looked like he was about to cry, or beg for forgiveness, Kathryn couldn't tell, but either way, it wouldn't work. 

"I thought you loved me." She hissed at him.

"Kath, I do, I love you. I didn't mean to do what I did." The tone of begging was present in his voice.

Kathryn stared at him, there was no expression on her face, she was numb, numb with pain, numb with anger. "Get out. I will deal with you later."

Not wanting to annoy her farther, Mark left the room, closing the door behind him. Kathryn sat on the bed; she hated him for what he did, but part of her still loved him, still needed him. She felt torn inside, like there was a war going on and neither side was winning, they were just hurting her even more.

****

Mark looked up at the sound of Kathryn's bedroom door opening, then he looked back to where he had been staring; the floor. Kathryn sat in front of him, now dress in her jeans and shirt with her hair pulled back in to a scruffy ponytail, Mark looked up at her. "Do you normally rape the women you love?"

"You know I don't." Kathryn could sense there was a touch of anger in his tone.

"Why? You said you loved me, and then you…did that."

Mark sighed. "Kath, I do love you – more than anything on this planet. I didn't mean to, it wasn't meant to happen. You weren't suppose to struggle." He said, the anger was no longer present in his voice.

"What, so now it's my fault, is that what you're saying?"

Mark didn't answer straight away; he sat in silence, staring at her, before saying. "What are you going to do with me?"

Kathryn looked away from him, but forced herself to look back. "I still love you, but it scares me knowing that you could do that again." Mark went to say something, but Kathryn stopped him, "No, let me finish. I love you – I need you – but I don't know if we can continue this…" Her voice trailed of when she saw his suitcases near her bedroom door. _He actually left her_; Kathryn thought he had been lying about leaving Carla.

Mark looked to where she was looking then turned back to face her. "Well, if you kick me out, I'll understand, I'll just have no where to though."

Seeing his suitcases changed everything for Kathryn, he left his wife for her, _he didn't mean to_, she got up and sat next to him, then whispered. "I love you, Mark."

Mark went to kiss her, but Kathryn flinched back, "What?" He asked.

Kathryn shook her head slightly, "Not yet, please. I'll tell you when I'm to have touch me again."

Mark slowly nodded. "I understand."

****

It was early evening; Kathryn sat on her sofa, looking through the bags of clothes she had brought. She had met up with Tom in the mall to talk; they had lunch then went shopping. Tom didn't seem to mind being dragged in to every clothes shop Kathryn saw, if he did have a problem he didn't show it. She had also popped by to visit Carla, to rub in that she had lost Mark, but she wasn't at home. Mark had gone out to see some friends; he didn't have all his things and was planning to get the rest later.

There was a knock at the door, Kathryn got up and answered it, to find herself staring at a man she had never seen before.

"You Kathryn Janeway?" His voice was rough, dangerous, like he shouldn't be messed with.

"Yes –" Before she could say anything else, the man shoved her back in to the apartment, closed the door after he followed then pushed her up to the wall, holding a knife to her throat.

Kathryn struggled against him, but he overpowered by using his free hand to trap her arms behind her back, then he pushed his body in to hers, stopping her moving and nearly cutting of her breathing.

"So you're the whore Carla was talking about." He put his hand on her shoulder to prevent her from moving her shoulder, then he digged the end of the knife in to her skin. "Now, why would she want me to kill a pretty little thing like you?" He paused then said, "Is it because you're sleeping with her husband?"

Kathryn glared at him, but said nothing; she was trying to come up with a plan to stop herself being murdered.

He pressed the edge of the blade against her windpipe, getting ready to slit her throat, when she cried out, "Wait!"

"What?" He spat at her.

"I'll give you double whatever Carla's paying you to kill me, if you don't kill me." She said, trying to stay calm and not show him that she was scared. 

"Well, she's paying me $1000 to kill you, so that would be $2000, and…" his free hand grabbed her between her legs, "I wouldn't mind a piece of this." He smiled.

Kathryn looked at him, disgusted. "$3000 and you kill Carla."

"$4000 and I don't." He replied, moving his hand back to her shoulder.

"Fine." She sighed, _at least I don't have to sleep with him, where the Hell am I going to get $4000, never mind, well looks like I'll just have to kill the bitch myself_.

He stepped away from her, placing his knife in his pocket, Kathryn put her hand up to her neck to make sure she wasn't bleeding.

"You never saw me, I want the money in two weeks, I'll drop by here to collect it." Not letting her answer he walked straight out of the apartment.

_Whatever_, Kathryn thought as she shut the door, and sigh then leaned against it. _How do I kill her and make it seem like an accident_.

****

Carla was sat in her shuttle car; it was a normal shuttle, but only smaller and sleeker to manoeuvre around the streets. Seeing the shuttle in front of her stop, she hit the 'brake' button, but nothing happened, she hit it again, still nothing happened, but it felt like she had picked up speed.

Then her shuttle crashed in to the other one…

**Two years later:**

Kathryn stared at herself in the bathroom, it was five minutes before she was meant to marry Mark and she felt as nervous as Hell. She had never been this nervous in her entire life, _if only you were here, Daddy_, she closed her eyes as the terrible memory came flooding back to her of the shuttle accident that so cruelly claimed the life's of her father, Admiral Edward Janeway and her first fiancé, Justin Tighe.

Kathryn opened her eyes and looked at herself again, her hair, which had grown just above her shoulders, was slightly curled, she wore a bit of makeup, and had on the necklace that Mark had given to her as an engagement present. She placed her hands on her swollen stomach as the baby slightly kicked inside of her.

The baby, which her and Mark had decided not to know what sex it was, seemed to make everything fall in place, she had Mark, her dog Molly, Kevin, who seemed to have settled in to her company now his mother wasn't around, and now she had  a baby on the way. Her simple white gown showed off her bump, which is what she wanted.

She picked up her bouquet of the side and walked in to the entrance of the church and over to Chakotay and Naomi.

"Ready?" Naomi asked as Kathryn stood beside them.

Chakotay turned to face her, breath taken by the sight. "Kathryn you look lovely."

Kathryn smiled a lopsided grin at him; he smiled back as he extended his arm for her just as the music started to play.

****

Mark stood up and looked around to the aisle; he could see Kathryn walking down it, Chakotay at her side and little Naomi, in a creamy dress, throwing some petals on the floor in front of her. She was his Goddess and he loved her more than life itself.

_And all it took was killing off the bitch_, he smiled to himself, the thought of him tampering with Carla's shuttle came back to him that he had to suppress the urge to laugh. _Loves a killer, darling, and it bit you in your arse, hope you rot in Hell…_


End file.
